I Remember
by Lunar Orphan
Summary: A quick overveiw of Gaara's life and why he fell in love with Naurto Uzumaki, the ninja who saved his life... and broke his heart. *Oneshot*


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!

Just a simple oneshot! Please enjoy.

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><p>I can remember the exact moment I fell in love with Naruto Uzumaki.<p>

A long time ago, I was a wreck. A total asshole. I was alone and I hurt because of it, I hurt other people because of it. Not caring for their wellbeing. All that mattered to me was myself. Because I didn't matter to anybody else. I loved only myself, fought for only myself, and lived for only myself.

Once upon a time, I had a 'loving' uncle. He showered me with what I thought was 'love'. Making me feel as though I did matter, as though I was just as important as everybody else. But it was all a lie. I'm not human. I'm a sand spirit, a sand demon. My mother couldn't handle the strain of giving birth to a demon like me, she died while giving birth. To my uncle, I was just the monster that murdered his beloved sister. I let myself trust him, I let myself believe him and his false claims of love.

The day I found out his true nature I had tried to make friends, once again being turned down by that all too familiar shout of 'monster'. So I ran. I ran to the safest place I could think. The roof of my house.

Up high, I could see everything, I could watch the entire village. I felt very calm and in control. I adored being up high. I sat there, thinking in the silver light, not expecting what was to come next.

A man stood behind me, masked. He launched several knives at me, my sand immediately coming to my rescue, thwarting his pathetic attempt. I spun to see who it was. With his mask hiding his identity, I encased him in sand and crushed him. I shakily removed his mask, ears ringing from the reality.

He laid on the rooftop, using what he knew were his last breaths to explain to me all the hatred he's been harboring. All the pure and utter disgust. He loathed me and wished for my death. So much so he was willing to die if it meant that he could end my existence.

He had planted a bomb on himself. But my sand was too fast. As it exploded my sand rushed to aid me, guarding my body from the vicious wind and heat. I cried. I screamed. Hating the world. Not understanding what I had done wrong. My sand, feeling my pain imprinted a symbol on my forehead. Being of Japanese heritage, it was the kanji 'ai', meaning love.

This symbol I wear on my forehead shows the world what I am without.

I had no reason to live anymore. After years of thinking it over, I had found a reason for my existence. Killing others. I was content. It made me almost happy to be alive. In this world where supernatural things were feared above all else, I lived my life as a heartless killer. Relishing in the feeling of warm blood drenching my sand. The corpses bitter crimson tears mingles and shifts within the endless sand, feeding the chaos within me.

I was sent to kill another demon. Kyuubi Kitsune they called him, or the Nine Tailed Fox. I'd never met another demon in battle. Didn't matter, back then I couldn't care less who the hell I was going to kill, I just wanted to feel alive.

Our paths met in the forest just outside his village. I was fully prepared to kill him... But his eyes. They shared the same look as mine, the same pain, the same loneliness. I tried to convince myself that I didn't care. I wanted to prove that my existence would impact something. Killing him would change people. His friends would be sad.

People mourn death.

That's all I needed, to know that I existed. How a demon managed to make friends was beyond me, but he needed to die. So, I didn't bother with conversation. I wanted to bathe his lithe body in his own blood. I wanted to laugh and watch him take his last, broken breath.

The Kyubbi talked the entire fight. Yelling and screaming about how wrong this all was. About how I was wrong. I could find a different reason, I didn't have to kill others. I ignored it. Thinking he didn't know what he was talking about... Until he said something that got my attention. He spoke of his past and how alone he had been too. We were so different and yet so painfully similar. The only thing that altered his personality from mine was he had done what I couldn't. He had managed to make friends, he had proven to some people that he was a person and he was worth their respect. He never gave up.

Kyuubi, Naruto Uzumaki, had beaten me.

He didn't kill me, but offered me a hand. He helped tend to my wounds. That day, he offered me friendship. I accepted. I lived with him in his village. We shared his house, I never heard from my family. I'm guessing they assumed I died or just didn't care. Probably both. I don't mind though, because I have Naruto.

One night he came home crying, that pink haired slut had turned him down again. But this time it was different. She had said something that really hurt him. It hit a little too close to home... I believe it went along the lines of this:

"Naruto! Leave me alone! You're never going to be good enough! You just aren't as good as other people! Idiot! I'm a bitch."

...Okay, I made that last part up, but she might of well had said it. I comforted Naruto, told him not to fret over it. She just wouldn't, couldn't understand what it's like to be alone like we do. She never had to live the life we did. He thanked me and smiled brightly, looking directly into my eyes.

That's when I fell in love with him. That exact moment.

Though, I kept the truth to myself. Not wanting to scare him or make him hate me. I was fine with it. It was just meant to be like that. I knew one day, when he finally got over Sakura, I would tell him. But at the time, I was willing to wait for him.

Then one day, one fateful day, he said the words I'd been longing to hear.

"Y'know Gaara, I don't really like Sakura anymore. She's just always so mean. But, I still hope she finds happiness. I really do."

I didn't like Sakura. Though, I didn't know her very much, but I just didn't like her because of the way she treated Naruto. I know nobody is as black and white as that, but I couldn't help myself from disliking her, it was in my nature to be disapproving of people.

I just nodded to him, hiding my happiness. I would tell Naruto the truth. Finally, I could tell him how I really felt. I was excited. The next few days I spent thinking about how to tell him. I had finally worked out the perfect plan. I ran home to get ready. What I was greeted with, though, made all my happiness burn out and be replaced with the pain and loneliness I knew in my younger years.

Naruto sat on the couch, a raven I knew as Sasuke on top of him, in a very heated lip lock. They both separated upon my arrival. Naruto blushed and laughed awkwardly, Sasuke just waved lightly. Naruto explained to me he had been seeing Sasuke for a long time now. He also explained how much he loved the raven. Uchiha Sasuke was his full name.

I nodded and kept my blank face present. Hiding perfectly what I was really feeling. Masking, very skillfully, the pain from feeling my recently healed heart being shattered by the very man who had fixed it. Curious enough, the blonde who had bandaged me all up and defeated me in battle had managed to defeat me in a totally new way. A much more painful way than Yashamaru ever could. And he had no idea, he was usually so intuitive. I suppose he simply stopped paying attention to me… Stopped caring.

Later in the week I was moving out. Naruto and Sasuke deserved to live together in peace. I had decided to move back to my village, Suna. Assuring him that it had nothing to do with the fact that he was gay. I told him that my family had contacted me and wanted to see me. So with that lie, I set off for Suna. Leaving the pieces of my heart in the sand that surrounded me. Touching the scar on my forehead, I waved back to the Kyuubi one last time and walked away. Never to return.

I can remember the exact moment I fell in love with Naruto Uzumaki.

I can also remember the exact moment that he broke my heart.

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><p>Hope you enjoyed it!<p>

Please Review!

-Lunar


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